Goal Posting

This post is brought to you by our sponsor, “Always Eat After 7 PM”. The opinions expressed below are my own.

I am two weeks in to the Always Eat After 7p Challenge (see my original post here)and I actually feel great! Removing the guilt associated with time constraints works wonders, but I will get into that a bit later. The ease of which I have fallen into a more healthy program is crazy to me because I have been so nonchalant about it for so long - I am going to eat what I want, when I want and as much of it as I want because I work hard, I earned it, I am stressed - whatever the excuse was I did it. The trouble was I got into a pattern that was tough to shake and before I knew it, BOOM, I couldn’t fit my clothes! Thankfully, Joel Marion’s Always Eat After 7PM program makes dieting easy and eliminates 90% of reasons for resistance. 

Here, Joel Marion shares more about the program:

What inspired you to write the book?

After authoring 6 best selling books it was glaringly obvious there were 2 huge misconceptions about dieting that needed to be exposed. The first is that you can't eat late at night or before bed, which science now shows is NOT true. And second, you can't eat large portions that satisfy your natural instinct. This book solves both these problems by providing an evidence-based, enjoyable approach to dieting that can be used by any person to quickly achieve their weight loss goals.

How difficult is the Always Eat After 7 PM plan to follow?

It's not. And that's exactly why I wrote the book. While any diet is never truly easy, it can be more enjoyable and much easier to adhere to when you understand how Always Eat After 7pm works because it caters to our bodies natural instincts.

Have I really been eating after 7p since starting the program? Yes. Have I lost weight since starting the program? Yep, sure have, as well as inches! I am sleeping better and much longer than I was and I have more energy already. Yes, I have been walking a few times a week but not nearly as strict a program as I have tried in the past. I just find that I am not nearly as hungry as I was before. Joel says, “Late-night eating also curbs calorie intake the next day. In a four-week study, dieters added a snack to their daily regimen 90 minutes after dinner every night, and check this out: late-night eaters ate an average of 397 fewer calories per day.” I wake up around 6:30-7a each morning and I am not hungry at all until maybe 11a, I kid you not.

In my next post I will share my results thus far as well as some of the food I have been enjoying. You still have time to join me in this challenge! Always Eat After 7 PM: The Revolutionary Rule-Breaking Diet That Lets You Enjoy Huge Dinners, Desserts, and Indulgent Snacks—While Burning Fat Overnight by Joel Marion is now available to purchase. Learn more about the book and how to purchase here.

This post is brought to you by our sponsor, “Always Eat After 7 PM”. The opinions expressed below are my own.

Always Eat After 7p Challenge

This post is brought to you by our sponsor, “Always Eat After 7 PM”. The opinions expressed below are my own.

Late night blog post edits…

Never not working *wink*

May has been a pivotal month for me for many reasons – it marks the birth of my daughter, the time frame in which I almost reached my post child bearing goal weight and the time where I lost the ability to walk for a period of four months plus.  Having such highs and lows occur in the same memory realm has proven to be a challenge in recent years, especially with the way social media shares highlight reels of our lives on their anniversary dates.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I love the skin I’m in.  I find that my curves gave me a boost to my sex appeal and confidence.  Looking back on the images of my past, however, does make me miss being more active and enjoying food void of the sneaky guilt that can creep up.  That’s why when the opportunity to review Always Eat After 7 PM: The Revolutionary Rule-Breaking Diet That Lets You Enjoy Huge Dinners, Desserts, and Indulgent Snacks—While Burning Fat Overnight by Joel Marion was presented, I jumped at it.

Immediately upon reading the title I thought, oh this will be a cake walk (pun intended).  Literally everything we have been told says you are not supposed to eat after 7 o’clock at night, not if you are trying to lose weight.  The exact method I followed back when I lost all that weight years ago was NOT eating after that time of night.  This made me curious.  I want to be healthier, lose a little bit of this weight while I tone up and gain more energy.  Being in quarantine has done a number on my sleeping habits so if I can learn how to achieve those physical goals while I gain more energy and improve my sleep patterns from reading Always Eat After 7p, I am all for it.

I am going to challenge myself to follow the three-phase plan as outlined in Always Eat After 7p and I challenge you to join me!  I have started reading it and so far, the information in Always Eat After 7p makes a lot of sense.  We’ve been traditionally taught to avoid carbs, have an early dinner, and never eat before bed. But the fact is, the latest scientific research shows us this earlier model is not the most ideal.  Author Joel Marion says, “Always Eat After 7 pm is a three-phase program that teaches you how to lose big by strategically eating big when you are naturally hungriest—in the evening. This may sound too good to be true, but let me assure you it is no gimmick. It’s all about making strategic and smart food swaps, and you can still eat your favorite foods.”  So, let’s test this out.

Quarantine restrictions are being lifted across many states, distance learning is ending for the school year and its time to shed some of the eating habits we may have picked up over the past few months.  Always Eat After 7 PM: The Revolutionary Rule-Breaking Diet That Lets You Enjoy Huge Dinners, Desserts, and Indulgent Snacks—While Burning Fat Overnight by Joel Marion is now available to purchase.  Watch the author share why he wrote the book, then you can learn more about the book and how to purchase here.

I will do the often feared before and after pics, share some pics of my meals and of course I will include cute workout gear and the ways I get moving both indoors and out. Keep checking back here for the updates on my progress. Will you join me?

This post is brought to you by our sponsor, “Always Eat After 7 PM”. The opinions expressed above are my own.

Quarantine without question - Day 32

As with most of the world, I am in quarantine. Having reached the 30 day mark, I currently have no qualms or questions about this change to my routine.

Not having the ability to do what you want, when you want, outside of your home is a challenge but I haven’t suffered.

It’s a strange parallel to find myself in.

I’m writing this at 4:31a, but now when insomnia visits I don’t worry about how it will affect my output at work. I don’t commute and I can take a nap. Suddenly I have enough hours in the day.

I have seen some of my favorite artists performing some of my favorite songs for free or a very nominal fee.

I have been physically distant without socially suffering:

•I’ve danced for hours straight at some of the best parties

•worked out almost every day

•tried new recipes

•met new people

•won multiple prizes at virtual parties (yes I won that bottle pictured and it was delivered to me!)

•reconnected with others

•virtually dated +++

•spent more time with family and friends

All of these (& then some) were done without leaving the comfort of my home. All of these align with my mantra for this year which was “All Me in 2020”...I’ve lived out loud!

Uncertainties remain of course, and I don’t take the current status of the world we live in lightly by any means. If anything I’ve been granted clarity, a break from monotonous living and a chance to change the trajectory of my future. Here’s to hoping we all come out of this better than when we were forced into it.

Day 32 of...???

How to Process Trending Topics that Trigger You Personally

Learning how to process trending topics that trigger you personally is a skill that can serve you in many ways, not just on social media. Yesterday my knowledge proved just how helpful it could be.

Clifford Joseph Harris, Jr., better known as T.I. is not an outlier.  His beliefs about and actions towards women are not a foreign concept.  We all know men who “jokingly” make these same comments and decisions. In a recent episode of his podcast, ‘Expeditiously‘, he plainly stated to his wife that he owned half of her “box” and had every right to go inside and “take” what belonged to him.  Yesterday, the word “hymen” began to trend on twitter after revealing that he regularly takes his daughter to have hers checked to ensure that she is still a virgin. Shortly thereafter I began to feel, as they say, “a way…”

When I was about 16, same age that T.I. said he began policing his daughter’s puberty, I experienced something similar from my own father…I believe my mother had told him that I was into boys or whatever the case may be. He made his way to my room and made some comments about it; suffice it to say they weren’t very warm.

Years before this incident, I shared with my father that the son of his then girlfriend had behaved inappropriately towards me. He asked me to tell him exactly what happened, which I did. I was told to stay away from the son…do with that what you may.

Yesterday, with all the commentary regarding T.I. and his parenting discrepancies between his sons and daughters, I found myself revisiting these two events specifically. I felt it affecting my mood. I needed to figure out why, but in a healthy way.

I share these memories not to garner pity or join the hunt against T.I.P. , no matter how much I disagree with his actions. I share because as you can see I was triggered and I was not expecting to be. Before therapy, my coping mechanisms were failing. With the holidays approaching, many find this time of year challenging and I wanted to share ways to process without internalizing.

• WRITE IT OUT – I know everyone is not a blogger or fancy themselves some prolific wordsmith, and it does not have to be that. Simply get a journal and write whatever comes to mind. Therapy taught me that when the writing gets to be too much, step away from it, and I will be honest with you guys, it does get tough at times. If someone has hurt you, instead of posting a subliminal or texting them a paragraph, write them a letter…and then get rid of it. Rip it up, throw it away, burn it (safely) or however you choose to dispose of it. Often times just letting the words (and even the tears) pour out of you can serve as solace

• READ/LISTEN TO UNDERSTAND – cancel culture is the new peer pressure. It is easy to get swept into the wave of whats trending and begin to question your own beliefs. As stated, I am upset about a lot of what T.I. was saying in his interview with the ‘Ladies Like Us‘ podcast (the episode has now been deleted and the hosts have issued an apology), but before I just fell in with the crowd, I made sure to listen to the entirety of what he was saying, including how the hosts led up and responded to his remarks. It may not change your opinion but at least do your due diligence before allowing the masses to sway you/trigger you for no good reason.

• LET IT OUT – scream, cry, fight the air, eat the ice cream, drink the wine whatever you need to do but get it out and don’t let it linger. You are not required to be strong all the time so don’t feel like you need to pretend to be.

These are just a few ways to breathe, stretch, shake and let it go but there are many more, including simply unplugging even briefly.

How do you process without internalizing? Tell me in the comments or feel free to email me – shanajanelleon@gmail.com

Community Over Competition

“Everyone wants to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.”

– Oprah Winfrey

It began innocently enough, a simple inquiry into how I maintain balance, cloaked in a compliment. I responded in kind, being as patient and helpful as I could in explaining the process. What started as a plea for guidance quickly escalated into a barrage of insults-fake/edited life, frivolous content, unstable, etc. I continued trying to explain and others came to my defense (initially) but ultimately it was up to me to go high as this person went low. I took the focus off myself and still attempted to provide the advice that was initially requested whether it was really desired or not.

My writing is cathartic for me. I’ve been a writer for as long as I can remember. In elementary school, when things were chaotic around me, I would lose myself in a book or heal myself through filling up page after page of crisp white paper at a frenetically rhythmic pace. The only thing that’s changed is the medium used (though I still love the feel of fresh gel pens in a new journal). I share what I share with you because without fail, I get messages from some of you thanking me for being open because they know they aren’t the only one dealing with whatever the subject matter is. I know how it feels to think you are alone. So when someone questions how I have the audacity to live out loud I am unfazed. If I can help but one person then I am doing it correctly.

Beware those that act like they have an interest in what you are doing when you begin to shift your norms. The ones who are comfortable in your struggle may not be pleased with your come up. You know what you are doing. You know you are using your power to shift your life in the direction you want it to go. Someone who has settled won’t understand that concept and that’s ok. Everyone may not support your endeavor(s), do it anyway.

You will always sound like you’re bragging to people who don’t share your hunger. Keep your power moves and life goals guarded. Just put your head down and do the work. When you do that you can’t focus on what someone else is doing. The naysayers get their energy from having access to you, by knowing they have your ear to point out what they feel are your flaws, by expressing what they think is your lack of success.

This doesn’t mean you don’t need a support system because you most certainly do. I work hard for what I desire but my personal board of directors (only my CLOSEST loved ones) are privy to my business plans and they help to hold me accountable.

This particular exchange that I describe today is a combination of a few interactions I had in the span of a few days. I know that the conversations that sought to question my audacity to live my dreams were born from them having the same desire (because they expressed it to me), yet lacking the courage to do so.

If you find yourself in an uncomfortable situation where you are having to explain yourself remember you don’t have to. You can ask yourself if you are in a situation that reflects what you feel you deserve, the only answer to that question is yes. If you aren’t, you know what to do. Never settle.

Pull The Trigger

Depression can present itself in the blink of an eye. I wouldn’t say that I don’t receive warnings; I know when something has triggered me. I can immediately feel when I am affected by something. The issue is getting in a safe mind space in enough time to ward off the depression.

What are the triggers? It can be any myriad of things. Take for example on a professional level – seeking perfection in the things that I project (for instance my writing), second guessing my contributions and worth in the office, embarking on new opportunities that I want to succeed…but we all go through that. Being a perfectionist is one of those things that can propel you to great heights or it can cripple you. I tend to procrastinate in those moments because I want it to be just right and more often than not I am pleased with my output. These triggers I overcome with little to no assistance.

Triggers in my personal life give me more of a challenge – questioning my decisions regarding relationships because I fear repeating the same mistakes or not questioning anything by taking whoever I am dating for who they are where they are and winding up exhausted from unhappiness, hearing from people in my past and feeling physically stressed, feeling guilty for creating distance and therefore spending time with people who are mentally and emotionally stuck which is essentially why I chose to distance myself in the first place. Simple solutions for each of these – BLOCK & DELETE but this dern heart of mine…I wind up feeling guilty for trying to protect myself.

We cannot stay complacent to our own detriment or demise. Others will move at their own pace regardless of how it makes us feel and we have to decide if waiting on them is worth the sacrifice we make to our own happiness and growth. You can’t hold on to some thing longer than needed for fear of hurting the feelings of someone else. The difference between now and that day back in November is I pay attention to the signals, the trigger warnings, and I take swift action because if I continue to suppress I don’t know what will happen…

I urge you to take the same precautions. It may cause you to walk away from the things you are used to but it is absolutely necessary. One of my foolproof ways of knowing that I need to walk away from something is recognizing when I am presenting myself in an altered state or not being my true self in order to deal. This can be with alcohol, emotional eating, being a gossip or negative towards someone else or anything that I do not normally do. If I have to do any of these things or if I recognize that I am giving too much of myself and not receiving in return, guess what? I remove myself.

Outside help may not always arrive. You have to help yourself. To this day I have in my phone the searches that I conducted on Thanksgiving Day 2018 – one was to see how to check myself into a hospital for depression and the other was to see if my insurance covered it. How responsible of me right? I have come very far since that day but I know I am not too far from being triggered enough to revisit those feelings.

You can’t skip self care – your passion and work ethic can be present, you can still maintain a social presence but you have to take care of yourself. You have to be able to pull the trigger(s) from your life that are doing you a disservice. What are some ways that you regroup to push forward?

Gimme a (Spring) Break!

With Spring break literally around the corner, parents will need to get creative when it comes to incorporating self care. Unless you planned a trip, the kids will be home for a full week so time is of the essence.

My muppets during a Spring break excursion

Here are three ways to regroup in under five minutes:

• Uh Huh, Honey

  • A spoonful of honey helps reduce inflammation. Some depression actually comes from chronic, low grade inflammation. Use honey to sweeten your toast or tea and your disposition at the same time.

• Om My Way

  • Moms know hiding in the bathroom really is not the best escape (not to mention that it does not work, no matter how old your child may be), so take the time to set up a space where you can really go to free yourself of stress. It does not have to be anything elaborate or expansive. Just an area with a comfortable chair or floor pillow where you can light incense or a candle and breathe.

• When In Doubt, Write It Out

  • “Dear Diary, I am feeling overwhelmed.” Simply writing out our feelings can make them seem less intimidating. Try journaling to recenter.

**BONUS TIP**

• Shut Up and Dance!

  • Crank up the tunes and challenge the kids to a dance off! It’s great cardio, can reduce anxiety and is a great family activity without breaking the bank.

What are some ways that you refuel in an instant? Share them in the comments so we can all help each other maintain some sanity!

Empty Nesting

Spring Break 2019 is when I realized my babies are no longer. Sure they will always be MY babies. I carried them in my womb. I birthed both of them, one au naturel (read: no pain meds) and the other with a wonderful epidural. I nursed them, one who wanted no parts of it and one who was greedy from birth. But just as I no longer physically possess the ability to carry children, I no longer view the children I do have as helpless infants that have to rely on either myself or their dads for every single thing.

I am proud of every accomplishment they have achieved thus far and all the wonderful things they will conquer in the years to come. I witnessed my son signing for his very first paycheck, complete with taxes taken out. I watched over my daughter as she penned her first blog posts. It hit me in these moments last week that these are young adults now. When did this happen?

Well probably when they began to exercise autonomy in the school activities they signed themselves up for, or when our mommy and me kitchen adventures turned into them cooking their own meals on occasion, or when they began to express disinterest in being plastered all over my social media, namely because they now operate their own pages and control what they want the world to see. I respect that decision and I respect them.

When I realized I no longer have babies I was sad for a brief moment but then I smiled because I played a part in raising respectable young adults.